light in the shadows.

finally trying to face my demons,
pay the piper They say,
the only person i owe is me.
i need to be free,
i need to think,
i need to speak,
i need to feel pain,
i need someone to blame.

what we had was real,
at least that’s what i thought.
maybe real is something for you that it isn’t for me,
maybe we were real but something happened that i didn’t see,
maybe i hoped for something you couldn’t be, for me.

i thought we had open lines of communication,
i thought there was something wrong that you would mention,
but that’s the problem; i always assume and never take action.

i am human,
i build bridges, read books,
and hold grudges.
i love you, that’s no secret,
you messed up and only i see it.
our bridge collapsed,
but in my dreams it relapsed
and i try to forget.

i know i pushed you away,
but that was the only way,
for me to heal,
to see the real,
and now i kneel.

i pray i find healing in seeing you,
because right now it hurts to know you’re happy without me
unfazed, i’m simply erased.

i pray i stop hoping you’ll come back.
i set you free and you aren’t a boomerang.
They say if it comes back to you it’s yours, but you never came back.
with understanding here i lack,
They have crossed the line,
does that mean you were never mine?

and if a fallen bridge is all i remember,
i pray it reminds me of what we had,
and shows me more than just a silhouette.