love & hate

This girl has seen more than she can handle,
Day by day she’s reduced to nothing, like a burning candle.
Her life as dark as the bruises she has seen,
But she remains bright
She’s convinced she can rise like the moon light

She finds comfort in the warmth of a palm
And from a heartbeat she sings and she hums
With relief she falls into open arms

She has been longing for something else
Something she can’t get from herself
But later realizes she has fallen into a trap
Like skin the palms are exposed and begin to grab
Around her neck they wrap

This girl as naive as most
Hums to a beat but not like before
She hears thumps and then a roar
Reminded of what she has seen
In her recurring dream
She hits the floor

Little girl gets love but never from within
She’s suffocated by the arms she found warmth in
With no options she chooses to run
Because her worst nightmare has now begun

Young girl do not lament in darkness
All arms are not a harness
Believe in Him up above
And please, do not give up on love.

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light in the shadows.

finally trying to face my demons,
pay the piper They say,
the only person i owe is me.
i need to be free,
i need to think,
i need to speak,
i need to feel pain,
i need someone to blame.

what we had was real,
at least that’s what i thought.
maybe real is something for you that it isn’t for me,
maybe we were real but something happened that i didn’t see,
maybe i hoped for something you couldn’t be, for me.

i thought we had open lines of communication,
i thought there was something wrong that you would mention,
but that’s the problem; i always assume and never take action.

i am human,
i build bridges, read books,
and hold grudges.
i love you, that’s no secret,
you messed up and only i see it.
our bridge collapsed,
but in my dreams it relapsed
and i try to forget.

i know i pushed you away,
but that was the only way,
for me to heal,
to see the real,
and now i kneel.

i pray i find healing in seeing you,
because right now it hurts to know you’re happy without me
unfazed, i’m simply erased.

i pray i stop hoping you’ll come back.
i set you free and you aren’t a boomerang.
They say if it comes back to you it’s yours, but you never came back.
with understanding here i lack,
They have crossed the line,
does that mean you were never mine?

and if a fallen bridge is all i remember,
i pray it reminds me of what we had,
and shows me more than just a silhouette.

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